new year baby?

me still not deliver me baby...
maybe he wants to be a january baby
a new year baby....

apa2 pun, i cant wait to receive you as my second son... so, please come to the world as soon as you can, ya babe... and please jgn laaaa sakit nau hehehhe

still counting days....

did few chores yesterday with hubby and hazeem... saja preparing for the baby.
what we did? menggatal pergi ke pavilion, wanted to look for hazeem's booster car seat. we went to parkson, pricing booster seat around RM300 plus and more... hmm... abih duit den, err... duit laki den...
then, we went to mothercare and ended up buying the seat there. graco booster car seat. berapa rege? RM297 after discount.... hmmm.. ini semua pasal new regulations that everyone has to wear seatbelt in the car effective from 1 January 2009. Arin asked me, hazeem pakai tak tu? Erk, itu belakang kira. Janji benda nya dah ada and he cant complain about 'Ma, abah, tercekik la....' - cos he is too short to wear the belt when seated in front.


ini la rupa nya... about the same as this model... ada cupholder by the sides, hazeem kata satu letak botol susu, satu lagi botol air kosong.. hehehhe
and the backrest can be detached when hazeem grows so tinggal seat bawah je, with the armrest, of course.

today, me going to pavilion again, alone... ada sale baju2 baby n kids yang aku berkenan bebenar.... sale up to 70%. duit takde... but kena carik snow cap for baby and pants for hazeem.

anyway, i need the walk to encourage beranak ni.... (cepat la moga2...)

apa lagi kami buat semlm?

bought and air-conditioner unit for my room at my mother's place in ampang hilir. my room belum ada air-cond and nyamuk BANYAK pulak tu... so, mom has generously given me the money to buy an ekon and dapat la a Haier unit on sale yesterday kat Desa Pandan.

apa lagi?

bought some medication for mom's health. hope she gets well soon - and hope she will find a way to destress herself... take care, ma!

then, balik umah cos dah tak tahan... not tired but i got this stupid buasir problem that got worsen these last few days... huh!!!!

P/S....

aku je belum selamat lagi hehehheheh....

pray for me as well... tq!

NEWBORN

Alhamdulillah....

Arin, my close friend, selamat melahirkan another daughter of name ZARA ALIYAH....

May Allah blessed her and ZARA and her family

-amin-

anak ku yang susah bergambar normal II

Last Saturday.... dah lama dah aku duk memendam hasrat nak berposing with hazeem dengan keadaan perut ku yg semakin heavy...
So, last Sat, we went to the Curve, hajat is to execute the wish....
Silly me... i forgot my son is one little devil who will not sit still, apa lagi nak berposing for the camera... so... the outcome was like... sh**.... NAH.... outcome was not like expected but turned out to be funny great candid pictures!!!
We didnt get posed pics but more candid pics....
However, since at that time, i wanted was posed pics, so... tgk la muka ku yang memula nya tersenyum and lama kelamaan menjadi masam...
"run....!!! save your life from that BIG monster" - it was either me or the replica behind...

"huh... celah pokok pun nak ambik gambar???"

"all rise...!" - noticed the diminishing smile from me face???

"mama... hazeem tired and hungreeee...." huh, tau pun letih. to satisfy my unfulfilled pleasure, aku paksa ngos belanja paddington pancake, sedaaaap... (mahal la for few pieces of pancakes)

ini la cameraman... lapar ye??? sian....

"hurry up, please... i need to go to the indoor playground you 'accidently' mentioned to me..."

sudahnya? aku malas nak berharap dah for posed pics... whatever pics i have, i will settle with them... i consider my wishes as granted!

anak ku yang susah bergambar normal I

i have a son, who is going to be 4 years old this 22 december....
he likes bob the builder and he will surely find a way to get us buy him any sort of construction toys - so... we have all sizes of trucks, all colours and all types of cranes, steamroll and more...

when i was pregnant with him... i looooove to read and collect Calvin & Hobbes comic books.
so, if anyone has ever read that comic, you will understand my prob as i have a-calvin in my family. just take a look at his faces whenever we want to take his pic!
"ngee....."

"uh.. ummm.... "

"ngeee.... "

"peace to the world - selamat hari raya!"

"okey abah, no more pics! let me go.... now..."

being attacked!!!

(zzz....ngeeeeing....)
what the h**l???
(bzzz..... ngeeeiiiingggg.... eeeiiinngg...)
umak aiii... besar nya nyamuk ni!!! betul ke nyamuk? what a minute....
(ngeeeiiiing....zzzzz.....)
aduh! cisss! memang bapak nyamuk la...

(pelepek....!!!!) ceh, tak kena lak
(pelepekkk!!!!) mati ko!!!

if only i can upload mayat nyamuk besar tu... you'll be surprised!

aduh! ada lagi ke?
mana...? aduh! eh eh...
yg kecik pun ada... ini lagi berbisa....
(pap! pap!... pappp!!) ini aku lagi sakit dari nyamuk
aik? hilang dah pulak
tinggal aku menggatal depan pc ni...
cis!

kenapaaaaa???

kenapaaaa.......???

kenapa kena ada rasa sedih?
kenapa kena ada lagu sedih?
kenapa kena sedih?
kenapa ada cuaca sedih?
kenapa ada berita sedih?
kenapa sedih susah org nak paham?
kenaaaaapaaaaaaa????

kenapa bila sedih susah nak happy?
kenapa bila sedih susah nak let go?
kenapa bila sedih susah nak tido??
kenapaaaaa?

ah, malas nak pikir... makan la dulu....

UPS and DOWNS of LIFE

today, i just dont feel right...
the feelings mutated since last night. yup, mutated from one thing to another.

i have a maid - but i have no control over her (luckily she is good with my son)
i have a house - but i stay in somebody else's house
i have a dream to have my baby bumps taken into beautiful pics - but i do not know when can i do that... for next thing i know, sekali dah beranak
i have plans for my business - but i have no capital to realise them
i have wishes.... but can granted me my wishes
who actually understand me?
who can help me?

i do not know....

i lost hope on most things, most beautiful things in life
now, i only life for basics...
why do i need dream? why do i need to be positive when i know life is full of negativity?
why do i have to be the only one?
why do i feel i am alone?
arghhhh...

this is tiring...

rainy days

night before aidil adha.... was blinking effortlessly on the comforter, next to my son... still couldnt shut these eyes to sleep...
my husband was having tea (or was it nescafe) with his family, late supper, as they normally do. ouch... suddenly i heard my stomach rumbling - lapa la pulak! hopefully hubby was sensitive enough to remember me and offer me something to drink or nibble...
5 minutes... 10 minutes... 30 minutes later... takdak apa2 pun... ceh!

mata oh mata, kenapa tak mau tido?
macam mana aku nak tido - badan sakit2
badan oh badan, kenapa sakit2?
macam mana aku tak sakit - baby tak mau diam
baby oh baby, kenapa tak mau diam?
macam mana aku nak diam - perut lapa sangat
perut oh perut, kenapa tak mau makan?
macam mana aku nak makan, bukan makanan aku
bukan makanan akuuuuu...

after singing, hopefully i could shut these eyes
err... nope! still blinking
tik tok tik tok - what was that? raining? at 3am something....?
thank god it will be a cool night
zzzz........

what??? dah subuh??
dragged myself to the bathroom - solat....
going to continue sleeping... cepat2 abis doa....
alamak... my brother in law woke up for his prayer pulak
(i was sleeping outside with my son and hubby, ok)
errr... how to sleep?
tik tok tik tok.... what? still raining?
no wonder i could still feel the chillness in my bones
nice time for slumberrrrrr
hmmm... the sofa looked nice - dush! my heavy body fell on it...
sakit badan lak... forget about continue sleeping
breakfast ready, since i was hungry since last night, why not i just eat

the rain continued for the day.... drizzling but non-stop
i like the feelings... feelings of english weather
gloomy but relaxing...

it was not a raya i expected, but Allah gave His barakah in terms of rain and coolness....

alhamdulillah....

raya korban? berkorban? terkorban?

more or less it will be about a month to my delivery date!

takut pun ada.... cuak pun ada.... tak sabar pun ada...

penat pun ada sebab been carrying this baby in my tummy for like 8 months plus... penat....
sakit? macam-macam penyakit ada - sama macam my friend, arin... macam2 sakit ada
-sakit belakang: jalan terkangkang2 terkedek2, sungguh la tak cun
-sakit gigi: dah patah lak gigi ku, gigi geraham and the worst thing patah separuh je tu, pergh.... sengal and berdenyut2
-sakit kepala: tido susah sangat, mengiring salah, terlentang salah, terbalik lagi la salah hehehhe...
-badan panas: kipas macam helikopter pun badan still berpeluh, siap peluh jantan kuar gaks! panas je memanjang, rimas rasa macam melekit je
-badan berbau: ye lah, if dah berpeluh je, mula la aku rasa badan berbau peluh, abis dibeli macam2 sabun, yg traditional, yg omputih, yg melembutkan yang menyental - huh, janji bau wangi la...
-badan berat: nak bergerak susah, sakit pinggang, sakit kaki... letih gak sebab sometimes nak je berjalan ke mana2 tapi baru halfway dah sakit sana sini. sakit woooo...

macam2 lagi. there was a book i read from islamic view, setiap detik orang mengandung ni - tiada sedetik pun ibu mengandung tidak terasa sakit fizikal. penat fizikal tidak harus ditambah dengan penat emosi, sebab itu digalakkan para suami supaya memberi sokongan penuh pada isteri mengandung. dikhuatiri ibu mengandung akan serik untuk mengandung dan takut mengapa-apakan kandungan... ish takut lak bunyi nya. (seriously, if ada peluang, memang aku nak kasik laki aku rasa gak penatnya heheheh. leh ke pass perut jap?)

tapi, ibu2 lak tak leh mengambil kesempatan lak, as a wife, org kata utk senang beranak, kena patuh pada suami...

sesungguhnya tuhan itu maha adil.....

ini nak balik raya - fuhhh....fuh....fuhhh.... hopefully takde apa2. memang la raya korban, tapi harap2 tiada yg menjadi korban hahaahaha

so, semua muslim friends - SELAMAT HARI RAYA KORBAN!!!!!!

some songs bring back certain feelings....

heard this song on the radio - was overwhelm by certain feelings i cant describe... but those feelings remind me of what i am... where i am now and where i am going... what i was looking for.

remind me of what to hang on
what to believe
what to hope...

hope you enjoy it too....

HERE I GO AGAIN whitesnake
I dont know where Im going
But, I sure know where Ive been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
And Ive made up my mind,I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho I keep searching for an answer,I never seem to find what Im looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
Im just another heart in need of rescue,Waiting on loves sweet charity
And Im gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go...
And Ive made up my mind,
I aint wasting no more time
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time...
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again...

Apa dah jadi... apa nak jadi...?

Heard on the morning news - a Form 3 boy died when he tried to save a snatch victim. The boy was on a motorcycle, was kicked by the suspect, fell and was severely injured... and he died.

Last weekend, a neighbour came home from his Subuh prayer at around 6am, was approached by a thief with a gun, when he came out of his car and wanted to open the gate. Luckily, the wife saw and started shouting from inside the house for help, thus the thief fled away.

Those are among the few recent incidents indicating people are affected by hot weather nowadays (fair excuse??)... What in the world happening to us now?

Tak cukup iman?
Tak cukup moral?
Tak cukup duit?
Tak cukup otak?

Nauzubillah... hopefully no bad things happen to me and my family, amen.

Heard this song... just feel like sharing...

What Happened to You by Offspring (my fav band in the 90s)

Before you started talking
You used to have a brain
But now you don't get even the simplest of things
I can draw a little picture
Or even use my hands
I try to explain but you just don't understand
Man you're really losing it
And you've really done a lot of junk now
But you keep on abusin' it
What in the world happened to you
It's bad enough you do it to yourself
But taking someone with you
Well you know that's something else
I say I'm not that kind of person
I'm not that kind of man
I try to explain but you just don't understand
I might be sympathetic or cut a little slack
If I thought that you were killing to give a little back
But you do it in the morning
You do it in the night
You lie to refrain from just facing your life
So I'll see you man tomorrow
You'll be gackin' up again
I'll see you in a coffin by the time your wad is spent
I think of all the times that I tried to lend a hand
I try to explain but you just don't understand

gembala kambing

ini cerita gembala kambing di satu kawasan terpencil di melaka
gembala2 kambing ini masih dalam latihan dan belum cukup umurnya
ini sesi warm-up dan memberi arahan sesama sendiri

ini namanya gembala aida syamila

background dan rekod dengan binatang peliharaan: -

- mencekik beberapa ekor arnab hingga mati

- cubaan mencekik hamster tetapi gagal

- cubaan sama ke atas seekor kucing tetapi kucing bertindak lebih pantas dengan menggigit gembala aida

gembala ini masih dalam pemerhatian

ini gembala amir hazeem

background dan rekod bersama binatang: -

- semuanya masih hidup

- kecuali disyaki menikam lobster kecil sampai mati (masih belum disahkan bersalah)

pun di dalam pemerhatian

nota kaki: selepas pengambaran,kambing2 masih dalam keadaan sihat sejahtera... amin

refreshing after years...

sometimes... after years of same thing, it is human to feel bored
sometimes... after years of routines, you are human to not feel anything
... not feel anything anymore...
not that you couldnt feel - but all become common

is this fair to describe years of marriage?

...

yesterday the feeling refreshes itself with just a simple gesture
a simple, spontanous and sincere gesture
a husband-ly kiss on wife's forehead...
meaning of only husband fully understand
maybe sudden feeling of missing
maybe sudden reminder of love
it can be anything
but the simple sincere kiss... sure did refresh some old mundane feelings
worth it?
worth every second...

:-)

it's been a month....

after sebulan puasa... muslims are given hari raya to celebrate perjuangan selama sebulan

sekarang dah almost sebulan syawal...

maka tamat la tempoh hari raya

abis sudah tempoh gerai2 lemang, ketupat dan rendang di tepi2 jalan

tamat la jemputan makan2 free di sana sini

tutup la kiraan akaun duit raya anak2

terlipat la kembali baju2 raya ke dlm almari

masuk la balik pinggan arcopal, mangkuk pyrex dan bekas2 kueh ke dlm display cabinet

itu carpet kasi gulung simpan dlm stor, pls...

langsir...? biar la, malas pulak nak memanjat

...

maka berehat la perut dari menghadam makanan2 berat dan berlemak

abis la sudah lakonan bermaaf maafan hari raya (ai... ramai yg ikhlas memohon maaf...)

itu la hari raya

and it will be back

question is... ada ke kita tahun depan?

ku ingat perempuan rupanya jantan...

setiap pagi, fav radio station aku is SINAR FM. selalu lak aku dengar satu lagu tu... pada aku suara penyanyi tu tak best mana... macam kelakar pun ada. tapi sekali dgar lagu tu sure terngiang ngian ditelinga aku. so, aku tanya la member aku si arin... "ko kenal tak sapa penyanyi pompuan ni...?" dengan pantas arin menjawab "itu jantan la... fav lagu laki aku!"

(azwar, aku tak sangka.....)

lepas tu aku tanya suamiku pula... dia kata "alaaa... ini group lama, lupa dah nama mamat tu..."

eh, dia pun tau?? famous rupanya lagu tu...

lagu apa???? terima lah..

SWEET SEPTEMBER - HATIKU KAU GURIS LUKA


Lalala lala lala la
Lalala lala lala la
Lalala lala lala la
Lala lala
Sedih rasa tak terperi bila ku ketahui
Andai kasih yang kau beri tak sepenuh hati
Dalam manis kata mesra aku terpedaya
Engkau ada teman lain lebih istimewa
Mengapakah ( kau tergamak )
Mendustai ( diri ini )
Hatiku kau guris luka
Kau siakan ( harapanku )
Kau biarkan ( ku kecewa )
Mengapa hatimu kejam
Tiada betimbang rasa
Meski engkau telah pergi bersama si dia
Namun aku takkan lupa kisah suka duka
Waktu kita sedang bahgia dalam alam cinta
Kan ku kenang sampai masa ku menutup mata
Jangan lagi ( kau bertanya )
Jangan pula ( kau menyesal )
Hatiku kau guris luka
Biar aku ( sendirian )
Menempuhi ( masa/hari depan )
Semoga cahaya hidup
Bersinar di hujung jalan
Lalala lala lala la
Lalala lala lala la
Lalala lala lala la
Lala lala


(Nak tau camne melodinya? tunggu la kat radio SINAR FM.)

Splendor in the Grass

I only watched part of this movie, an old movie in 1961, starred by Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty.... from the small part that i watched, macam interesting... a bit lucah for young ones, not XXX tapi the message sent tu a bit lucah and too complicated utk budak2 read between the lines... so better tengok sendiri without the minors.

if tak abis tgk why am i putting it in my blog?

heheheh just to share what i felt when i was watching it...
the movie was about teenage boys and girls falling in love etc etc etc
teringat masa dolu dolu...
and i bet it is the same as most of us - masa falling in love - masa in love - and what happen after dah ter fall in love tu... haaaa....

to fall in love, it takes certain attraction, chemistry some say (entah kenape bukan biology ke fizik ke...)
when you look at him/her, rasa macam berkenan je... some may not realise that this is love
some may mistake this feeling with saje gatal2 nak tengok orang... but there is no exact definition to describe how

then masa in love, everything is possible - macam adidas, eh ke nike... impossible is nothing :D
at this time, most girls laugh like 'thihihiii....', which their usual laugh would be 'wakakakakakaa..'
but who cares, right... sapa la nak gi check how we normally laugh or how we laugh to APPEAR beautiful and ladylike. And boys pun sama je... nak langkah longkang pun berpimpin... nak beli ubat gigi pun sanggup teman girlfriend takut la girlfriend jatuh ke... bunyi nyamuk baru kepak sayap dah sebatu dengar... that was how protective they can be.

(eh, nape laki aku dulu tak buat mende2 tu pun...? hmmm musykil...)

well... apa jadi after we are in love... ?

ada yang get married, for muslims ini untuk mengurangkan dosa - ye la... dah bercinta kahwin je la. beranak and ramai kan umat

ada jugak yang tak kahwin2... due to numerous reasons yang sometimes it is beyond your rational to think about it.

well... try la watch Splendor in the Grass... see whether you'll have same feelings as mine.
rasa rindu masa bercinta... when you are the one and only
rasa macam kita la yang paling best di mata mereka
and it will make you wonder... why now you rarely feel that way...?

i dont have the answer - you may be?

self cheating

i realise... nowadays, who can we trust?
we cannot even trust ourselves
betul tak?

why do i say that?

sometimes, we lie to others - we thought we outsmarted them by making them believe in our lies...
hakikatnya, who are we cheating? ...diri sendiri

we lied about what we do every day
we lied about our ibadah
we lied about how we feel - our feelings...
why?

reasons all depend on individual cases...
ada menipu utk merilekskan diri sekejap (ini selalunya tipu bos hehehhe)
ada menipu to get something done
ada menipu to not getting things done...

macam macam hang ada dalam dunia

tipu if i say i never lie, never cheat in my life
itu kira tipu besaq tu :D

but just to share....
liar, liar, pants on fire....

moga2 kurang la penipuan kita semua lepas ni... amiiiinnn

i thought i know him...

we were friends before we decided to go into serious relationship
we never thought that friendship would turn into a lifetime commitment

we fell for each others' good characters
never thought now we have to tolerate each others' bad sides (hehheheh...)

i saw his patience
... that's why he needs my aggressiveness
i saw his obedience
... that's why he needs my directions

certain characters we clashed
but these differences make us stronger
makes us survive each other

small things i found out time after another
small things that make me proud
small things that make me fall for him more

just when i thought i knew him enough
... somebody came and surprised me with new backgrounds
... and i love him more

wish i make him proud as well

only he knows...

Pergi Tak Kembali - RABBANI

Salam hari raya...
Hati terusik mendengar lagu ni... lagi tersentuh bila menghayati lirik nya... semoga sentuhan ini mencapai jiwa2 yang lain... dan membawa kita ke arah kebaikan - amin

Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa

Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata

Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisahlah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya

Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana

Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim

Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi

Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi

She who worries...

so many things to do
so many issues to settle
so many problems to handle
so many matters to worry

should she worry?
should she take them lightly?
should she turn away and ignore?

she who worries...
knows ignorance is not an answer
she also knows it is not simple

since there is no answer yet
so she who worries...
continues to worry

now i am worried...!

kena tag ngan adik aku

1. Name 1 person who made you laugh last nite?
last night???... hazeem la siapa lagi

2. What were u doing at 0800?
layan ratatouille with hazeem

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
discussion with arin whilst checking email and chatting with gaza and bob

4. What happened to you in 2006?
2006? Nothing much... why 2006?

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"arin, ko amik la siti norhaliza tuh jadik kakak angkat ko - aku taknak..." she was reading about her in the net

6. How many beverages did you have today?
till now - only coffee

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
brown

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
AKLEH toll

9. Where were u last nite?
at home watching movie with hazeem

10. What colour is your front door?
light brown (my shop)

11. Where do u keep your change?
anywhere i can think of...

12.What's the weather like today?
cool english weather

13. What's the best ice cream flavour?
vanilla of course

14. What excites you?
great movies, good jokes

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
suppose to go last week tp tak sempat... yup, nak potong le

16. Are you over the age of 25?
YES

17. Do you talk a lot?
depends to who with who

18. Do you watch the O.C?
Nope

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Nope

20. Do you make up your own words?
sometimes, esp during college days

21. Are u a jealous person?
my husband used to call me Green Dragon... guess why

22. Name a fren whose name starts with the letter 'A'?
Adzreena, amirul azizi (raje ni)

23. Name a fren whose names start with the letter 'K'?
Kerol

24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
Raja (semlm nye projek ni...)

25. What does the last text message you received say?
'Ja, sabunn ada lagi tak?' - from Zureen

26. Do you chew on your straw?
jarang la... unless kalau dah boring sgt2

27. Do you have curly hair?
Tade

28. Where's the next place you're going to?
AjiDon

29. Who's the rudest person in life?
malas nak cakap

30. What was the last thing you ate?
sandwich telor.....

31. WIll you get married in the future?
aledi married aaa

32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
PS I Love You - watched it again

33.Is there anyone you like rite now?
Like? like how? ...

34. When was the last time you did the last wishes?
Last wishes? Like how? ...

35. Are you currently depressed?
Was last week - at the verge of depression! Luckily rescue came fast

36. Did you cry today?
Just did after watching Petronas nye iklan - afdlin shauki's... very sad... very very sad...

37. Why did you answer and post this?
my sister requested... kena la jawab...

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey?
-sapa2 terasa kengkawan tu sila la jawab ya... arin, gaza - ko berdua mmg kena le!

tarikh apa ni?

hmm... 15 August... tarikh apa tu?

last friday kan? what so special about that?

well... firstly, i was told by my friend in SME that my cheque was already on the way - only waiting to be signed. Phew!!! you don't know how relieved i was hearing that news... more than 8 months of waiting for my loan to realise, i FINALLY am getting the loan. Fuhh...

i remember org SME pernah raise a question... KENAPA BILA KAMI BERI LOAN, SYARIKAT TU BANKRUP?

Duh, you put a condition - siapa nak ambil loan kena buat business full-time (meaning: you have to earn your own $$$ instead of getting your salary). And, setahu aku, bila org apply for loan, biasanya org takde $$$ sendiri utk memulakan perniagaan (and memang loan yg aku apply is start-up loan).

So............................ bila hang kasik loan selepas 8-12 bulan orang apply, what the heck are they suppose to do for modal before that? jual bontot?? (mind my language)

Duh....

Okay, enough of the stupid story... atleast I got my money, walaupun bukan full amount... (sigh...)

Apa lagi dengan tarikh tu?

Haaaaaaaa.... 31 tahun yang lalu... aku dilahirkan! maka bermula zaman kelam kabut ramai orang hehehhehe

so, sesapa yang terasa seperti kawan aku - jangan berlengah lagi - cepat2 belanja aku makan, kasik hadiah duit pun aku tak kisah... sebab budak kecik je takleh pegang duit byk, aku dah besau hahhahahah

takpun... doa kan sahaja keberkatan hidup aku dunia dan akhirat... itu pun cukup bermakna.

amin...

h.o.m.e.m.a.d.e. COOKIES

SAMBUT HARI RAYA DENGAN CITARASA BERBEZA DAN YANG PENTING - SEDAP!

Homemade Cookies
Dijamin SEDAP, HALAL dan BERSIH CEKAP AMANAH

1. Kellogg's Honey Cornflakes - RM15 for 50 pieces
2. Kellogg's Chocolates Cornflakes - RM16 for 50 pieces
3. Digestive Honeyballs - Original RM18 for 50 pieces
- Raisins RM20 for 50 pieces
- Choc coated (dark/white) RM20 for 50 pieces

Pun ada juga... servis Hamper Packaging utk Corporate Clients atau sesiapa saja yang saudar/saudari ingin gembirakan hatinya....
*Harga hamper berbeza mengikut design.

Jangan malu jangan segan
Call saya atau email saje di anizaamran@yahoo.com

Fuhhhh....

Many things have been going on in my life - mostly depressing and frustrating and really tested my patience - thus, explain my lost of interest in doing so many things including updating my blog!

You may ask what happen?

Let me just say that shit things happened in life - whether you like it or not.
whether you deserve it or not.
whether you ready or not.

SHIT HAPPENS

I used to tell myself (and still does), "Allah Maha Mengetahui and Maha Adil - Jangan aniaya orang cos one day, one fiiiiine day, benda2 yang kita buat org akan terpalit kat muka kita sendiri"

During my 'missing' period, I saw denials, unfaithfuls, revenge, lust, temptations, trials and lies....

One of them was an accident that tested the patience and strength of a family. the love of parents to a child... the support of families and friends...

Another was about a girl who forgot her responsibilities and respects and forgot about qada' & qadar...

Another was about a bank and its staff that continuously saying they want to help out the Malaysians but the truth was jauh panggang dari api...

All of which i can come to a conclusion that Allah is Great. Allah Maha Adil. Allah Maha Penyayang....

We are nothing more than hambaNya... who live to worship Him and live by His rules... kalau ikut undang2 sendiri memang ramai teraniaya!

Caya la cakap gua...

ni untuk robot2 smapk (u know who u r!)

beatles mania

I've been in love with these four lads since college (mind you, it was not that LONG AGO)... What do I love about them? Well... what not to?! Their music are easy to listen to, fun, and the lyrics are straight to the point. I may not know them that well (and of course, they didnt know I existed) but from the clips and all, they seemed like a bunch of fun fellas! So, as I extracted from wikipedia.... here are some facts about them: -

"The Beatles were a pop and rock group from Liverpool, England formed in 1960. Primarily consisting of John Lennon (rhythm guitar, vocals), Paul McCartney (bass guitar, vocals), George Harrison (lead guitar, vocals) and Ringo Starr (drums, vocals) throughout their career, The Beatles are recognised for leading the mid-1960s musical "British Invasion" into the United States. Although their initial musical style was rooted in 1950s rock and roll and homegrown skiffle, the group explored genres ranging from Tin Pan Alley to psychedelic rock. Their clothes, styles, and statements made them trend-setters, while their growing social awareness saw their influence extend into the social and cultural revolutions of the 1960s. After the band broke up in 1970, all four members embarked upon solo careers.

The Beatles are one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed bands in the history of popular music. The Beatles are the best-selling musical group in history. ^[1] In the United Kingdom, The Beatles released more than 40 different singles, albums, and EPs that reached number one, earning more number one albums (15) than any other group in UK chart history. ^[2]EMI, estimated that by 1985 they had sold over one billion records worldwide.^[3] According to the Recording Industry Association of America, The Beatles have sold more albums in the United States than any other band.^[4] In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine ranked The Beatles number one on its list of 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.^[5] According to that same magazine, The Beatles' innovative music and cultural impact helped define the 1960s, and their influence on pop culture is still evident today. This commercial success was repeated in many other countries; their record company..."

couch potato

got tagged by arin

from the list, here are my favourites!

5 Sex and the City, HBO (1998-2004)
girls, fashion, gossips and guys... what more can a girl asked for

9 Friends, NBC (1994-2004)
who doesn't!

19 ER, NBC (1994-present)
a bunch of 'brainies' that fascinate me

20 Beverly Hills, 90210, Fox (1990-2000)
when this series were aired, i was a teenager. this was a dream come true for girls like my age.. (at that time, of course!)

35 CSI, CBS (2000-present)
one of the series where you can think! why? how? who?
never think of how convenience the clues can be. like... tetiba je ada je clue nye

41 Frasier, NBC (1993-2004)
i looooove the smart, witty lines... and how true it could be...

47 30 Rock, NBC (2006-present)
love alec baldwin cunning character

48 Ally McBeal, Fox (1997-2002)
love the soundtrack

49 Twin Peaks, ABC (1990-91)
soap drama, right? wow! can't think why i loved them before... but i love them.

56. Desperate Housewives, ABC (2004-present)
heheheh.... gossips, of course!

61. The Office (U.S.), NBC (2005-present)
steve carell. smart, witty and the very selamba... can be stupid at times!

62. House, Fox (2004-present)
he irritates you but why oh why i couldnt help but to love him (and his team!)

66. Grey’s Anatomy, ABC (2005-present)
another bunch of doctors that fascinate me - i thought doctors are supposed to be boring?? ye ke?

70. Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS (1996-2005)
AHA!!! this is life! this is real life! how real....!

89. SpongeBob SquarePants, Nickelodeon (1999-present)
started to fall for the pants-wearing-sponge when i was pregnant with my son, hazeem


aku rasa ada lagi la.... 3rd Rock From The Sun, That 70s Show (cool...), heroes, entourage (ke ni klasik je?) and ada lagi la...

hmm... aku rasa gaza pun layan.... sila gaza sila

ini lah negara ku

orang kata... jgn komplen byk2... tak berkat idup
so, aku pun try le komplen skali pastu aku diam... kadang2 2-3 kali... pastu aku diam aa

komplen pasal apa?
pasal apa2 je yang kena mengena ngan idup aku (kengkadang idup org lain)
heheh
tapi kengkadang tu ada benda yg aku try taknak komplen sebab if aku komplen tak kemana, unless aku sendiri carik solutionnya. tapi dah lama aku pendam ni aku rasa bukan tahap komplen lagi dah, sebab komplen pun tak guna
ni aku nak maki hamun je

pagi tadi aku ada RM50 je dlm wallet... aku kena isi minyak. tak nak le pakai kredit kad sebab interest dah mahal kan?
so aku isi le RM30 shell ke dalam wira 1.5 aku.
pergh.... tak sampai pun satu bar!!!
macam mati pucuk je aku tgk meter tu naik...

dah tu pulak... dari mrr2 aku nak ke spa aku
sepanjang laluan aku byk construction
lubang kat jalan toksah cakap la
ini bukan lobang yg boleh elak... mcmana aku nak elak? ke kiri motor... ke kanan lori
nak tak nak kena la redah lobang tu... gedegang!!!
lagi satu jenis developer/kontraktor yg korek jalan start dari kiri ke kanan jalan... stret je....
mcmana nak elak? rempuh je la... gedegang lagi!!!!

itu belum masuk bab paku yg buat tayar aku pancit 2-3 kali..!!
nasib baik kos tampal baru beberapa hinggit.

itu lah negara aku...
aku support kereta nasional (cewah.. padahal murah)
tapi quality tak boleh tahannya 'kelas'
kena lak hari2 rempuh jalan2 kerajaan yg berlobang dan berlopak
longgar gegar kereta aku

so... ini masalah sapa?
nak try save minyak... tapi kereta nasional memang pelahap minyak compare ngan kereta2 mahal
pikap takde... kena tekan lebih... lebih la minyak tu
kalau aku boleh kencing dlm tong minyak tuh... mmg aku buat... siap suh anak aku skali kencing

pastu rata2 barang mahal skarang. ini baru prelim
standby le utk tsunami effect nanti

bab aku berniaga lak
aku nak pinjam duit kerajaan, yg duk gegar2 kata nak tolong bumi buat bisnes
mmg gegar je la lebih
dah masuk 7 bulan
loan aku tak setle2 lagi
dah berkali2 aku gi menapak kat bangunan sme tu (eh tersebut lak)
pun tak setle2 lagi
dah la kena bayar semua sendiri - loye, insuran
itu loan start-up
skrg aku dah lebih dari start-up
dah byk brg aku gadai
if, org yg mmg takde apa2 nak start bisnes based on janji2 kerajaan... aku tak tau macamana nasib org2 tu???

itu lah negara aku....
aku byk ikhtiar utk survive mcm2

ubah cara idup?
aku ubah
carik penyelesaian lain?
aku carik
tapi kenapa aku tersepit lagi?
bukan aku menyepitkan diri aku
tapi aku tersepit sebab aku percayakan kerajaan
aku berharap pada kerajaan

salah ke aku?

CROATIA vs TURKEY

Pergh... missed the live telecast. Heard from Gaza, from my father in law as well about the awesomeness (quoted from Po the Panda!!) of the game.

The first half went off without any goal, 0-0

The end of the second half also without any goal, 0-0
Minit ke-119, Croatia scored their supposedly victory goal!
Not for long till Turkey scored theirs at 120+1 minute, mematikan harapan croatia yg masa tu tgh senyum2 gumbira, bet they felt they could tasted victory already... hehehe

Turkey won by penalty 3-1.

Itu semua boleh dikatakan sebab player fav aku - RUSTU! Turkey first keeper kena card merah, so Rustu kena ganti.

HIPHIP... HURRAY
HIPHIP... HURRAY!!

HAHAHHAHA....

ERK... tapi lepas ni TURKEY lawan GERMAN lak

sapa nak pilih ni? dua2 kekasih hati...
ok la - kehenseman Ballack mmg Rustu takleh tandingi... hehheh

me think final will be Italy and Germany. betul tak?

salah

aku salah eja rasanya funfare tu

funfair le... cet... dah lama tak sekolah....

FUNfare

Nope - I didnt go to any funfare since ages.
So what is this post all about?

Heheheh...
I just remembered my experience going to a funfare, err think it was in Pandan Perdana. With who? Haaa... with Gaza, Liza and raja kapoor.

It was in year 2000, I think. I was driving my Kancil. Yup, can still accommodate all those big-size people :-) We just had dinner at Hj Tapah and each of us had 2 glasses of kopi ginseng - EACH! Gluttony...

Then, I can't remember who came up with the brilliant idea to go to a funfare. But we managed to reach the funfare. We chose to ride a ... errr... what do you call that thing? errr... something like merry-go-round but with mini aeroplanes that flies in circle up and down...

I sat in an aeroplane, liza was in another and guess what? raja and gaza shared an aeroplane! hehehe... couldnt figure out why.

we enjoyed our 'mini-aeroplane-trip' and was the song played was enter sandman, metallica. yup, it was entertaining enough - we laughed like hell! until... budak yg jaga the machine decided to give us a free trip with another metallica song. Unfortunately, we were already dizzy from Enter Sandman and our throats were starting to sore from continuous shouts and histerical laughs. So another trip was not a good idea.

Liza and me started to quiet down, so did gaza and raja. As i took a glimpse behind my shoulder towards gaza and raja - i saw gaza was already penyek - kena hempap dengan raja HAHAHAHHA!! cos the planes were flying too fast and we started to wear out. Hehehhe...

After that we shouted, "Abang ooii... kitorg dah surrender bang oii"... So he stopped the machine. We could barely stand up, apa lagi nak berjalan turun from the stage. We practically crawled our way out!!!

Gaza and raja vomitted! Liza followed suit!! Me - nak muntah tapi sampai sudah tak muntah2! So, terjelepuk je dalam kereta... mabuk!

But it was a fun experience which we will never forget....

Mana Blongos? You may asked. He was in UiTM Melaka at that time - 'enjoying' himself with his 'own friend-s' heehhe (kan, Bang...)

selo

ari ni macam selo
bawak kete selo
naik tangga selo
buat keje selo

pendek kata semua nye selo

nape?

ntah....

tenkiu gaza

been wondering whole day yesterday who was the Spain player that I used to admire (of course becos of his looks) in EURO2004...
i asked around and came up with few more stupid answers... or it was more like discovering how stupid we were when it comes to football hehehhe

last night,gaza called me and saved my day... "uit, mana ada dia main Man U... dia main Liverpool la... player Spain - Fernando Morientes'... then I replied "HAH... betul... Morientes... hahahahhaha!!!"

Kenal tak sapa Morientes? Ha... ni dia... now he plays for Valencia...

Hensem? Hensem bagi aku... hehhe

EURO 2008

EURO 2008...

Nak sokong sapa ya...? Hmm... always been a Germany fan and I think for this EURO2008, still gonna be a Germany fan.

Last EURO, terminat kat macam2... err... macam2 player sebenarnya. Was a fan of Turkey goalkeeper Encik Rustu tu. Then tertengok Spain, terminat lak kat si... err lupa lak namanya.

Tapi tak minat ngan England... cos of David Beckham... hehehhe

So, this year... still minat kat Germany.
Why??
1. cos of Michael Ballack
2. cos of Michael Ballack plays with Chelsea
3. cos the jerseys are cool.... home and away... (Abg, abg nyer baju tuh hari Germany kan?)



Aku rasa depa leh menang... unless jadik macam kes underdog dulu aaa... frust je...

payah bangats

payah tul nak pakai internet...

rumah ampang nye internet dah kena panah petir

kedai lak jap ada jap tade

nak gi cc perghh.... duit kena catu kat minyak keta

pastu lak... semalam baru aku tau - susu anak aku naik rege lagik (nak tau baper?)
dari RM72 jadik le RM84.99 (itu pun ada sign besau2 kata harga promosi - limited to 2 units per customer!) bedebah nye mahal naik rege!!!

... hazeem, lepas ni, minum sirap le... ok la ribena!

GOOD NEWS

me now am 2 months...
heheheheh...

alhamdulillah... me think hazeem will get a baby brother - rasa aje... still too early to tell. why? malas segalanya - malas mengemas, malas bersiap - semua ala kadar je

apa2 pun... doa kan kesejahteraan kami... ari tu problem makan. makan je muntah tak pun ciritbirit. pastu tak lalu... sekarang dah ok dah, getting better.

tadi baru melantak nasi ayam (lesap dari pinggan sekelip mata je) pastu bersambung ngan waffle (hah, abang, semalam ja mimpi makan waffle - dah dpt dah)

partner in crime aku pun dlm kondisi yg sama - heheheh sapa lagi, mek arin aaa

so loooong

been busy with things

got good news
got bad news as well

also widely F***ed up news!
"... saya seru rakyat semua ubahlah cara hidup..."

errr... which lifestyle were you referring to?
within my circles... i understand that most of us before this hidup bercatu
if we were to change our lifestyle... most likely boleh tahap merempat
nauzubillah... mintak jauh la

logically, everything is related to fuel
you eat outside... they get their supplies either naik kereta beli barang or org hantar brg naik kereta... either way - mmg la kena mengena ngan kereta yg perlu di isi minyak
even if you purchase raw materials - still related to transportation using fuel
hmmm...
dont have to wait for long... immediately after fuel went up, electricity also went up

the next thing you know... you salary is merely peanuts... or worse... abuk kacang

why? we produce oil... takkan petronas je nak merasa hasil minyak negara?
why? why are we comparing our country with Singapore (whose salaries are MUCH MUCH higher - they are being paid with real money worth not PEANUTS)
why thailand? even their diesel is of better quality than ours...!
why not compare us with other oil producing countries? tak terpikir?

rakyat... sila ubah cara hidup
i thought government is supposed to make sure we are well protected - takkan merempat di negara sendiri
i thought government is supposed to upgrade our way of living - which seems only certain people is living well off - takkan kita semua malas kerja koooot...

do we know our rights?
will there be changes?
ke nak tunggu sampai crime rates merata2? which i hope banyak yg harta tak halal dirompak... huh... (cepat nanti aku bayar zakat..)

rakyat, think about it...

TAG by busyah

The rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first
2. Each blogger start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.


8 Facts/Habits bout ACA:

1. I love green. Colours, view, but not the veggies.

2. I am creative. I love sketching but hate painting.

3. I can change characters whenever i feel like - mcm cicak apa tuh...? Yup, I can be talkative when i feels like but I can utter nothing when i dont feel like talking. I can be snobbish when around snobs and be humble whenever around nice people. Don't ask further cos i also dont have explanation for this.

4. I observe... All the time. So, sometimes people thought i mebi dumb cos i dont say much.

5. I love oldies. Movies, songs, stuff... it's like i am living in the wrong era...

6. I can be a peacemaker... and I can be the firestarter!

7. I love MONEY. but I dont have them yet...

8. I forgives... but I never forgets... okey, rarely...


'At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.'

sapa2 nak buat... silakan...

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

can i do that??? can i escape from reality???
can i go somewhere where all these life nonsense don't follow?
can i? can i?

in running, every runner will face a runner's wall
an illusional fact a runner faces when they feel they can go no more...

in every human, we all have a borderline - in everything
sometimes life challenges are too demanding
they are beyond your strongest mind
beyond your upmost sanity

me?
if you look at me you may not see the real me
how struggling i am
how suffocating life makes me
how deep i am in this shit

challenges come in all angles
why?
are they here to make me a better person?
are they here to teach me lessons?
are they here to see what i am made of?
or they are here just to test my patience...

maybe... it was a payback for something i did wrong
what?
i don't know
maybe i didnt realise

i hope Allah will give me His guidance
soon...
very soon...
ASAP

cos i think me already closer to the verge of a nervous breakdown...

what make me still sane?
i counted my blessings, even the least
me being 6 weeks pregnant - alhamdulillah
a good husband
an adorable son
a supporting family
understanding and always there 'guardian angels' (korg tau sapa korg)

these keep me grounded
keep me sane

but still
Ya Allah, sometimes your dugaan is too much to bear
please give me strength
show me the way to go on...

amin...

funny ke?

sometimes what we say is totally different from what we do... funny ke?

we say we didnt do things but we actually did
we say we care but we totally act ignorant
we say we didnt mean things but your actions are detrimental to ur family.. ur reputation

funny ke?

we were born in a family with a certain reputation to maintain to...
people look at us
people wait for us to do shameful things
people cheer when we fall
people celebrate when we fail

funny ke to u?

some people are lucky to have family who care
some people are lucky to have family who still trust no matter how many times u lied
some people are lucky to be blessed with luxury and health and beauty
funny ke if some people forget to be grateful?
funny ke if some people forget that all these came from Allah?
funny ke if some people forget that Allah has certain rules so we remember to respect other human beings?

funny ke if we forget these things?
funny ke?

aku pun tak tau...

hazeem in sabah

taken during our trip to sabah - KK & Labuan

hazeem enjoyed the trip... u can see from the pics! tak byk ragam...

are you having a bad day?

been awhile...

it has been awhile since i pen down my thoughts here... cos my thoughts have not been stable... have not been with me...

dunno why? life is tough. problems are bigger than life. yet, it depends on how u look at them. it depends on how u look at life. on how u look at urself...

strong
is it a must?
i believe it is... people change, people tranform, people do not stay at one spot only
sometimes it is overwhelming
you wake up everymorning... looking the same, smelling the same - but you are not you...

sometimes it is scary to be with a stranger... sometimes a person u know could also change into a stranger u just met...
it is scary
scary like u saw a ghost? scary like you scared of ur own shadow?
scary like u were being chased?
scared of death...?
scared of the almighty Allah? - no doubt about this one... cos whenever i became lost again... dont know what to do... my actions are to tawakal to Allah, cos i know as a hamba... i am too weak to know the future, too weak to face His challanges... too weak to stand without His help...
and I am scared of the Judgment Day...

it has been awhile...
i saw many things... ambiguous things... grey lines... undefined - unable to be defined...
i am only left with DOA and TAWAKAL...

it has been awhile...

Rindu Bayangan

Sometimes you wonder... how much you miss the past?

Sometimes you forget about the past - when you are drowned in time...

Sometimes you remember them, especially when something flicked your mind...

This picture tells a tale of two person in love i.e. my mom and dad (middle and right seated)

It was taken in UK after their wedding registration.

Sitting on the left was my late grand-uncle...

A part of my life was written here... my grandparents' house - in Kelantan. This was taken when we first moved in, from the Gudang house (a name we called the previous house).

Oh, Angin... sampaikanlah lagu ku padanya... yang sedih pilu...

My late beloved grandfather... minum kopi time. He looked like a chinese man... wonder what made he beamed with smile?

Me - four beradik... guess which one is me??

Again... my late grandfather - cant help but to put this pic... he was a good looking lad. no wonder my grandma fell for him. and no wonder all his children are good looking too... (also grandchildren!)

Bila ku kenang ku renung gambar wajahmu...

Kisah yang lalu tak akan berulang lagi

lupakan saja cerita lama... usah dirayu pada yang tak sudi...

an old place - the Gudang. Later converted into a place we called home... i was raised there with late grandpa and grandma. Was spoilt cos being the only child, i got almost anything... but Abah was strictest with me... no nonsense... but in his strictness, i could sense his love and care and concern... he taught me a lot.

Family pictures taken almost every year, at the famous MEDO studio. Father wasnt there... he already went to UK. My grandparents (see how beautiful my grandma was) and two aunties and three uncles... I was closer to my youngest uncle, grew up with him - he irritated me and i irritated him but we had each others back. FYI, he had a big collection of miniature planes... which i misplaced all of them... sorry! he taught me how to play combat and how to make fireworks from kabait!

Berputar-putar membelitkan kata-kata...hanya linangan air mata yang menitis

pada bayangan di angin lalu... membisikkan kata rindu bayangan