Monday, July 30, 2007

stand by me O A S I S

Made a meal and threw it up on sunday,
Ive, got a lot of things to learn,
Said I would and I believe in one day,
Before my heart starts to burn
So whats the matter with you,Sing me something new,
Dont you know the cold and wind and rain dont know,They only seem to come and go, away
Times are hard when things have got no meaning,
Ive found a key upon the floor,
Maybe you and I will not believe in,
The thing we find behind the door
So whats the matter with you,Sing me something new,
Dont you know the cold and wind and rain dont know,They only seem to come and go away
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way its gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way its gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way its gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows,Yeah nobody knows,The way its gonna be
If your leaving will you take me with you,
Im tired of talking on my phone,
There is one thing I can never give you,
My heart will never be your home,
So whats the matter with you,Sing me something new,
Dont you know the cold and wind and rain dont know,
They only seem to come and go, away
Maybe I can see, yeah,
But dont you know the cold and wind and rain dont know
They only seem to come and go, away.


how many of us know facts about depression?

"Depression is a common illness. It is more common than hypertension or diabetes. The lifetime occurrence of depression in any country is between 8% to 10%. Contrary to common belief it is not an illness of developed countries alone. It occurs in developing countries like ours just as commonly as in other countries. The World Health Organization and the World Bank studied the disability that diseases bring and found that Depression is the fourth most disabling disease in the world. It is predicted that in 2020 it will rise to being the second most disabling disease. The World Health Organization also estimates that more people die from suicide than from Tuberculosis deaths in the Asia Pacific region. The most common cause for death by suicide is Depression." - extracted from Malaysian Psychiatric Association.

well, not to scare anybody... not to scare myself but knowing that any one of us is capable of experiencing depression (plus that it is more likely to happen to women - remember 'hormonal-imbalance' or 'post-natal-depression'?) it is crucial for me (and anybody) to have something happy to do or remember or atleast think of...

funny when as we grow older, we forget what are our hobbies
our creativity blocked by our daily chores, requirement to be mature

Remember the time when we use to play we boxes - sat in one box and pretended it was an aeroplane?
Weren't we creative?

I think i almost hit a nervous breakdown - reasons of which i yet to discover...
it's crazy - and it was ugly. hate the feelings... but was lucky and still lucky cos i have good friends to comfort me, remind me to count the blessings i have...

so, i tried to recall my hobbies - i like dancing, songs, flowers (bought some for myself yesterday)... and i like beautiful things (which remind me of beautiful son i have, beautiful life...)
whenever i got the chance, i will get time to fulfill my hobbies... atleast one, if not all..

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


i wanna lose weight

i found an old picture of mine

i was thinner....

it will be my inspiration to lose weight

errr... excuse me, but i am now not 'so' fat

but i've gained weight

well, diet food (erghhh...!)

here i comes...

m y . d e s k

college days... what have i been doing?

found this picture of my desk during college days - some things show how much i spent on 'study' and what have i been doing for the rest of my college days... hehhehe

from the pic, you can see the dried flowers which my at-that-time boyfriend gave me (now married to me). he and few friends bought the flowers from bangsar night market and to my surprise, they wrapped the flowers themselves. altho it didnt look as expensive but it's the thought that's count.

hmm... and i am a beatles mania! i have most of the cassettes and cds. i had their posters and their pictures (call me old timer, but i looove them!)

not many books seen in the picture - don't be fooled. i kept my books at the next cabinet (partly seen in the pic). had to admit, not much of a bookworm.

well, i think college life is the best! less people judging people cos we don't care. we don't care what you do. as long as it didnt involve us.

we ate cheap food, whatever we could afford from the cafe (or canteen). whenever we got extra, it will be pizza or kfc or mcD. we didnt know much of coffee bean, starbucks etc. we didnt care.

we listened to radio most of the time - and we got the time! oasis, gin blossoms, wings, search, ella, cranberry, no doubt etc. we sang together, nobody cares how we sounded... we just enjoyed the feeling.

we rode buses, crammed into an already crammed buses. nobody cares.

we put anything, everything at our desk. nobody cares. only we cares - and we were free to put anything... cos we trust our roommates, our friends - who came to our room to hang out (not stealing or spying on our stuff).

good life, eh?! it was for me!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


forrest gump says, life is like a box of chocolate... you'll never know what you will get
true.. to a certain extendnowadays, all chocolates come in labelled packages, to a certain degree, you will know what you will get
so, can we say life is the same?
choosing the right path in your life, to a certain degree your decision will be based on what you know for certain will happen.
obviously nothing is perfect. we can only plan and carry out our plan as best as we can
but it is beyond our control to decide what will actually happen.
where was i last few weeks? i attended a course on becoming an entreprenuer...
yes, i wanna become one succesful damn rich entreprenuer
i hope and pray God will help me all the way
for i can only plan and strive my best - but very few i know what will actually turn out

what i know - my feelings are strong and i was not meant to end up as an employee
for i want more than that
and i want to write my own story, not somebody else...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

new trend??? A DATUK ERA

don't know whether it is just me or is it now the trend for ladies to go older men with titles esp. 'Datuk'ship title?

every now and then there seems to be more of the above mentioned incidences. be it single women, married women, celebrities or nobodys... most would opt to have some kind of 'connection' with any Datuk. why?

just recently, a close friend of mine was having his most shocking encounter - to find out that his sort-of-beautiful wife to be having intimate affair with a well-known-for-his-womaniser-reputation Datuk. why? WHY?

i cannt understand the reason/s behind all these dangerous 'liaisons'... well... first of all, she's married. secondly... the husband is MUCH more good looking than the Datuk. come to think of it again, there shouldnt be a second reason cos the first one is good enuf!

what do women want? i am a woman - what do i want?

... many things: romantic husband, gentleman, caring, and of course able to provide me in 'any ways'. money wise... of course i want a husband who can tabur me with lots and lots of them. BUT... there are also many reasons why i cant have ALL at one time.

firstly, am i as perfect wife as i want him to be a perfect husband? (i rarely cook & he doesnt mind - that's already a good point)
secondly, how to expect him to have LOTS of money when i married a young guy who just started working? i married him based on his good qualities and on his high tolerance on my bizarre behaviour and i know HE HAD NO MONEY at that time!
but, as a muslim, i believe God has plans for all of us... maybe he will be somebody one day... nobody knows. but we know every effort will be paid.

and i hope one day, should he be granted with any 'title'ship - no younger women will come and take him from me. cos if she did, i will be the first one to take away his god-given-manhood from him and left her with none. yet i know, with God's permission, it will not happen... ameen.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007


most of us were rebellious in certain ways when we were young, especially teenagers.

as for me, i couldnt afford to be rebellious too much (as my mother had warned me to kick me out of the house if i did...). so, i resorted to songs. i can listened to songs all day in my room. i had songs in my cars - numbers of cassettes (it was 1990s - ok - no CD yet). and i had songs for all 'moods'.

whenever i got angry, it would be metallica, nirvana, GNR, def leppard, green day...
whenever i was happy, it would be beatles, abba, gin blossoms
whenever i was feeling a little bit above the sky, it would be bon jovi, aerosmith, air supply, mr big, take that (hehhehe)

nice feelings, man... they were my best friends (and still are), cos they understood my feelings most.

so, after few years already, last night my friends and i (and my husband) let it out of our system. we had 3 hours of jamming. it was hell of fun time!
chord was not too perfect, singers were much of a 'songbird' - but we had GREAT time!!!

well, nothing beats reminiscing your past, eh...

Monday, July 2, 2007

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

poem by ee cummings

SIVAJI the boss

anyone has watched this movie?

yup, it's a tamil movie and it has been collecting millions from all over the world and the main actor, rajnikanth is the highest paid actor as compared to shah rukh khan or amitabh batchan (err... hope i spell everybody's name correctly...)

i have been reading commentaries on the movie in a few newspapers and mags and all gave out excellent comment.

well, where else can you watch one guy beat up more than 10 (or maybe couple of 'tens' hehehhe) villains and won with very few scratches on his body? and in which movie can you enjoy good hip moving songs, and not complaint on too much songs or music in it? in which movie can you see that the hero is much much much smarter than the police or authority (action moves like SWAT, BAD BOYS, etc EXCEPT he is not a guy in uniform)

another thing i learnt, tamil movies are more interesting than hindustanies... (they are more variations and more unpredictable story plots)

i am looking for a cd to watch at home cos my in laws also interested... wanna join me watching it?