Tuesday, December 30, 2008

new year baby?

me still not deliver me baby...
maybe he wants to be a january baby
a new year baby....

apa2 pun, i cant wait to receive you as my second son... so, please come to the world as soon as you can, ya babe... and please jgn laaaa sakit nau hehehhe

Thursday, December 25, 2008

still counting days....

did few chores yesterday with hubby and hazeem... saja preparing for the baby.
what we did? menggatal pergi ke pavilion, wanted to look for hazeem's booster car seat. we went to parkson, pricing booster seat around RM300 plus and more... hmm... abih duit den, err... duit laki den...
then, we went to mothercare and ended up buying the seat there. graco booster car seat. berapa rege? RM297 after discount.... hmmm.. ini semua pasal new regulations that everyone has to wear seatbelt in the car effective from 1 January 2009. Arin asked me, hazeem pakai tak tu? Erk, itu belakang kira. Janji benda nya dah ada and he cant complain about 'Ma, abah, tercekik la....' - cos he is too short to wear the belt when seated in front.

ini la rupa nya... about the same as this model... ada cupholder by the sides, hazeem kata satu letak botol susu, satu lagi botol air kosong.. hehehhe
and the backrest can be detached when hazeem grows so tinggal seat bawah je, with the armrest, of course.

today, me going to pavilion again, alone... ada sale baju2 baby n kids yang aku berkenan bebenar.... sale up to 70%. duit takde... but kena carik snow cap for baby and pants for hazeem.

anyway, i need the walk to encourage beranak ni.... (cepat la moga2...)

apa lagi kami buat semlm?

bought and air-conditioner unit for my room at my mother's place in ampang hilir. my room belum ada air-cond and nyamuk BANYAK pulak tu... so, mom has generously given me the money to buy an ekon and dapat la a Haier unit on sale yesterday kat Desa Pandan.

apa lagi?

bought some medication for mom's health. hope she gets well soon - and hope she will find a way to destress herself... take care, ma!

then, balik umah cos dah tak tahan... not tired but i got this stupid buasir problem that got worsen these last few days... huh!!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008


aku je belum selamat lagi hehehheheh....
pray for me as well... tq!


Arin, my close friend, selamat melahirkan another daughter of name ZARA ALIYAH....
May Allah blessed her and ZARA and her family

Sunday, December 14, 2008

anak ku yang susah bergambar normal II

Last Saturday.... dah lama dah aku duk memendam hasrat nak berposing with hazeem dengan keadaan perut ku yg semakin heavy...
So, last Sat, we went to the Curve, hajat is to execute the wish....
Silly me... i forgot my son is one little devil who will not sit still, apa lagi nak berposing for the camera... so... the outcome was like... sh**.... NAH.... outcome was not like expected but turned out to be funny great candid pictures!!!
We didnt get posed pics but more candid pics....
However, since at that time, i wanted was posed pics, so... tgk la muka ku yang memula nya tersenyum and lama kelamaan menjadi masam...
"run....!!! save your life from that BIG monster" - it was either me or the replica behind...

"huh... celah pokok pun nak ambik gambar???"

"all rise...!" - noticed the diminishing smile from me face???

"mama... hazeem tired and hungreeee...." huh, tau pun letih. to satisfy my unfulfilled pleasure, aku paksa ngos belanja paddington pancake, sedaaaap... (mahal la for few pieces of pancakes)

ini la cameraman... lapar ye??? sian....

"hurry up, please... i need to go to the indoor playground you 'accidently' mentioned to me..."

sudahnya? aku malas nak berharap dah for posed pics... whatever pics i have, i will settle with them... i consider my wishes as granted!

anak ku yang susah bergambar normal I

i have a son, who is going to be 4 years old this 22 december....
he likes bob the builder and he will surely find a way to get us buy him any sort of construction toys - so... we have all sizes of trucks, all colours and all types of cranes, steamroll and more...

when i was pregnant with him... i looooove to read and collect Calvin & Hobbes comic books.
so, if anyone has ever read that comic, you will understand my prob as i have a-calvin in my family. just take a look at his faces whenever we want to take his pic!

"uh.. ummm.... "

"ngeee.... "

"peace to the world - selamat hari raya!"

"okey abah, no more pics! let me go.... now..."

being attacked!!!

what the h**l???
(bzzz..... ngeeeiiiingggg.... eeeiiinngg...)
umak aiii... besar nya nyamuk ni!!! betul ke nyamuk? what a minute....
aduh! cisss! memang bapak nyamuk la...

(pelepek....!!!!) ceh, tak kena lak
(pelepekkk!!!!) mati ko!!!

if only i can upload mayat nyamuk besar tu... you'll be surprised!

aduh! ada lagi ke?
mana...? aduh! eh eh...
yg kecik pun ada... ini lagi berbisa....
(pap! pap!... pappp!!) ini aku lagi sakit dari nyamuk
aik? hilang dah pulak
tinggal aku menggatal depan pc ni...

Thursday, December 11, 2008



kenapa kena ada rasa sedih?
kenapa kena ada lagu sedih?
kenapa kena sedih?
kenapa ada cuaca sedih?
kenapa ada berita sedih?
kenapa sedih susah org nak paham?

kenapa bila sedih susah nak happy?
kenapa bila sedih susah nak let go?
kenapa bila sedih susah nak tido??

ah, malas nak pikir... makan la dulu....


today, i just dont feel right...
the feelings mutated since last night. yup, mutated from one thing to another.

i have a maid - but i have no control over her (luckily she is good with my son)
i have a house - but i stay in somebody else's house
i have a dream to have my baby bumps taken into beautiful pics - but i do not know when can i do that... for next thing i know, sekali dah beranak
i have plans for my business - but i have no capital to realise them
i have wishes.... but can granted me my wishes
who actually understand me?
who can help me?

i do not know....

i lost hope on most things, most beautiful things in life
now, i only life for basics...
why do i need dream? why do i need to be positive when i know life is full of negativity?
why do i have to be the only one?
why do i feel i am alone?

this is tiring...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

rainy days

night before aidil adha.... was blinking effortlessly on the comforter, next to my son... still couldnt shut these eyes to sleep...
my husband was having tea (or was it nescafe) with his family, late supper, as they normally do. ouch... suddenly i heard my stomach rumbling - lapa la pulak! hopefully hubby was sensitive enough to remember me and offer me something to drink or nibble...
5 minutes... 10 minutes... 30 minutes later... takdak apa2 pun... ceh!

mata oh mata, kenapa tak mau tido?
macam mana aku nak tido - badan sakit2
badan oh badan, kenapa sakit2?
macam mana aku tak sakit - baby tak mau diam
baby oh baby, kenapa tak mau diam?
macam mana aku nak diam - perut lapa sangat
perut oh perut, kenapa tak mau makan?
macam mana aku nak makan, bukan makanan aku
bukan makanan akuuuuu...

after singing, hopefully i could shut these eyes
err... nope! still blinking
tik tok tik tok - what was that? raining? at 3am something....?
thank god it will be a cool night

what??? dah subuh??
dragged myself to the bathroom - solat....
going to continue sleeping... cepat2 abis doa....
alamak... my brother in law woke up for his prayer pulak
(i was sleeping outside with my son and hubby, ok)
errr... how to sleep?
tik tok tik tok.... what? still raining?
no wonder i could still feel the chillness in my bones
nice time for slumberrrrrr
hmmm... the sofa looked nice - dush! my heavy body fell on it...
sakit badan lak... forget about continue sleeping
breakfast ready, since i was hungry since last night, why not i just eat

the rain continued for the day.... drizzling but non-stop
i like the feelings... feelings of english weather
gloomy but relaxing...

it was not a raya i expected, but Allah gave His barakah in terms of rain and coolness....


Thursday, December 4, 2008

raya korban? berkorban? terkorban?

more or less it will be about a month to my delivery date!

takut pun ada.... cuak pun ada.... tak sabar pun ada...

penat pun ada sebab been carrying this baby in my tummy for like 8 months plus... penat....
sakit? macam-macam penyakit ada - sama macam my friend, arin... macam2 sakit ada
-sakit belakang: jalan terkangkang2 terkedek2, sungguh la tak cun
-sakit gigi: dah patah lak gigi ku, gigi geraham and the worst thing patah separuh je tu, pergh.... sengal and berdenyut2
-sakit kepala: tido susah sangat, mengiring salah, terlentang salah, terbalik lagi la salah hehehhe...
-badan panas: kipas macam helikopter pun badan still berpeluh, siap peluh jantan kuar gaks! panas je memanjang, rimas rasa macam melekit je
-badan berbau: ye lah, if dah berpeluh je, mula la aku rasa badan berbau peluh, abis dibeli macam2 sabun, yg traditional, yg omputih, yg melembutkan yang menyental - huh, janji bau wangi la...
-badan berat: nak bergerak susah, sakit pinggang, sakit kaki... letih gak sebab sometimes nak je berjalan ke mana2 tapi baru halfway dah sakit sana sini. sakit woooo...

macam2 lagi. there was a book i read from islamic view, setiap detik orang mengandung ni - tiada sedetik pun ibu mengandung tidak terasa sakit fizikal. penat fizikal tidak harus ditambah dengan penat emosi, sebab itu digalakkan para suami supaya memberi sokongan penuh pada isteri mengandung. dikhuatiri ibu mengandung akan serik untuk mengandung dan takut mengapa-apakan kandungan... ish takut lak bunyi nya. (seriously, if ada peluang, memang aku nak kasik laki aku rasa gak penatnya heheheh. leh ke pass perut jap?)

tapi, ibu2 lak tak leh mengambil kesempatan lak, as a wife, org kata utk senang beranak, kena patuh pada suami...

sesungguhnya tuhan itu maha adil.....

ini nak balik raya - fuhhh....fuh....fuhhh.... hopefully takde apa2. memang la raya korban, tapi harap2 tiada yg menjadi korban hahaahaha

so, semua muslim friends - SELAMAT HARI RAYA KORBAN!!!!!!

some songs bring back certain feelings....

heard this song on the radio - was overwhelm by certain feelings i cant describe... but those feelings remind me of what i am... where i am now and where i am going... what i was looking for.

remind me of what to hang on
what to believe
what to hope...

hope you enjoy it too....

HERE I GO AGAIN whitesnake
I dont know where Im going
But, I sure know where Ive been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
And Ive made up my mind,I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho I keep searching for an answer,I never seem to find what Im looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
Im just another heart in need of rescue,Waiting on loves sweet charity
And Im gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go...
And Ive made up my mind,
I aint wasting no more time
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time...
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again...