Saturday, May 24, 2008

TAG by busyah

The rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first
2. Each blogger start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.

8 Facts/Habits bout ACA:

1. I love green. Colours, view, but not the veggies.

2. I am creative. I love sketching but hate painting.

3. I can change characters whenever i feel like - mcm cicak apa tuh...? Yup, I can be talkative when i feels like but I can utter nothing when i dont feel like talking. I can be snobbish when around snobs and be humble whenever around nice people. Don't ask further cos i also dont have explanation for this.

4. I observe... All the time. So, sometimes people thought i mebi dumb cos i dont say much.

5. I love oldies. Movies, songs, stuff... it's like i am living in the wrong era...

6. I can be a peacemaker... and I can be the firestarter!

7. I love MONEY. but I dont have them yet...

8. I forgives... but I never forgets... okey, rarely...

'At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.'

sapa2 nak buat... silakan...


can i do that??? can i escape from reality???
can i go somewhere where all these life nonsense don't follow?
can i? can i?

in running, every runner will face a runner's wall
an illusional fact a runner faces when they feel they can go no more...

in every human, we all have a borderline - in everything
sometimes life challenges are too demanding
they are beyond your strongest mind
beyond your upmost sanity

if you look at me you may not see the real me
how struggling i am
how suffocating life makes me
how deep i am in this shit

challenges come in all angles
are they here to make me a better person?
are they here to teach me lessons?
are they here to see what i am made of?
or they are here just to test my patience...

maybe... it was a payback for something i did wrong
i don't know
maybe i didnt realise

i hope Allah will give me His guidance
very soon...

cos i think me already closer to the verge of a nervous breakdown...

what make me still sane?
i counted my blessings, even the least
me being 6 weeks pregnant - alhamdulillah
a good husband
an adorable son
a supporting family
understanding and always there 'guardian angels' (korg tau sapa korg)

these keep me grounded
keep me sane

but still
Ya Allah, sometimes your dugaan is too much to bear
please give me strength
show me the way to go on...


Monday, May 19, 2008

funny ke?

sometimes what we say is totally different from what we do... funny ke?

we say we didnt do things but we actually did
we say we care but we totally act ignorant
we say we didnt mean things but your actions are detrimental to ur family.. ur reputation

funny ke?

we were born in a family with a certain reputation to maintain to...
people look at us
people wait for us to do shameful things
people cheer when we fall
people celebrate when we fail

funny ke to u?

some people are lucky to have family who care
some people are lucky to have family who still trust no matter how many times u lied
some people are lucky to be blessed with luxury and health and beauty
funny ke if some people forget to be grateful?
funny ke if some people forget that all these came from Allah?
funny ke if some people forget that Allah has certain rules so we remember to respect other human beings?

funny ke if we forget these things?
funny ke?

aku pun tak tau...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

hazeem in sabah

taken during our trip to sabah - KK & Labuan
hazeem enjoyed the trip... u can see from the pics! tak byk ragam...

Monday, May 5, 2008

are you having a bad day?

been awhile...

it has been awhile since i pen down my thoughts here... cos my thoughts have not been stable... have not been with me...

dunno why? life is tough. problems are bigger than life. yet, it depends on how u look at them. it depends on how u look at life. on how u look at urself...

is it a must?
i believe it is... people change, people tranform, people do not stay at one spot only
sometimes it is overwhelming
you wake up everymorning... looking the same, smelling the same - but you are not you...

sometimes it is scary to be with a stranger... sometimes a person u know could also change into a stranger u just met...
it is scary
scary like u saw a ghost? scary like you scared of ur own shadow?
scary like u were being chased?
scared of death...?
scared of the almighty Allah? - no doubt about this one... cos whenever i became lost again... dont know what to do... my actions are to tawakal to Allah, cos i know as a hamba... i am too weak to know the future, too weak to face His challanges... too weak to stand without His help...
and I am scared of the Judgment Day...

it has been awhile...
i saw many things... ambiguous things... grey lines... undefined - unable to be defined...
i am only left with DOA and TAWAKAL...

it has been awhile...