been awhile...

it has been awhile since i pen down my thoughts here... cos my thoughts have not been stable... have not been with me...

dunno why? life is tough. problems are bigger than life. yet, it depends on how u look at them. it depends on how u look at life. on how u look at urself...

strong
is it a must?
i believe it is... people change, people tranform, people do not stay at one spot only
sometimes it is overwhelming
you wake up everymorning... looking the same, smelling the same - but you are not you...

sometimes it is scary to be with a stranger... sometimes a person u know could also change into a stranger u just met...
it is scary
scary like u saw a ghost? scary like you scared of ur own shadow?
scary like u were being chased?
scared of death...?
scared of the almighty Allah? - no doubt about this one... cos whenever i became lost again... dont know what to do... my actions are to tawakal to Allah, cos i know as a hamba... i am too weak to know the future, too weak to face His challanges... too weak to stand without His help...
and I am scared of the Judgment Day...

it has been awhile...
i saw many things... ambiguous things... grey lines... undefined - unable to be defined...
i am only left with DOA and TAWAKAL...

it has been awhile...