ESCAPE FROM REALITY

can i do that??? can i escape from reality???
can i go somewhere where all these life nonsense don't follow?
can i? can i?

in running, every runner will face a runner's wall
an illusional fact a runner faces when they feel they can go no more...

in every human, we all have a borderline - in everything
sometimes life challenges are too demanding
they are beyond your strongest mind
beyond your upmost sanity

me?
if you look at me you may not see the real me
how struggling i am
how suffocating life makes me
how deep i am in this shit

challenges come in all angles
why?
are they here to make me a better person?
are they here to teach me lessons?
are they here to see what i am made of?
or they are here just to test my patience...

maybe... it was a payback for something i did wrong
what?
i don't know
maybe i didnt realise

i hope Allah will give me His guidance
soon...
very soon...
ASAP

cos i think me already closer to the verge of a nervous breakdown...

what make me still sane?
i counted my blessings, even the least
me being 6 weeks pregnant - alhamdulillah
a good husband
an adorable son
a supporting family
understanding and always there 'guardian angels' (korg tau sapa korg)

these keep me grounded
keep me sane

but still
Ya Allah, sometimes your dugaan is too much to bear
please give me strength
show me the way to go on...

amin...