outburst and pregnancy

semalam aku kecik ati (lebih kepada mengada2 sebenarnya) dengan mr hubby.

being pregnant ni could turn you into a person you would never thought you could be...

i could still remember masa aku pregnant-kan si hazeem. mr hubby sent me to office cos i was in my ninth month, so he wouldnt let me drive. masa balik tu, i had to take LRT to jelatek cos masa tu aku baru balik from my building inspection (one of my 'adventure' being a working mom). aku janji tunggu kat LRT around 6, rasanya... and mr hubby the excellence reached the station 10mins late --- yes, you read correctly --- 10MINS late and the moment i saw the car, i jumped in the car and started crying. poor that guy, he thought i was in pain or something bad happen. yes, bad enough he was late! 10 mins late! ----ridiculous?? that was what he said, and skrg bila pikir2 balik, mmg terserlah ke-bangangan-nya :)

masa harith lak, aku kurang skit acara2 pendek akal ni. but i was in a slump mode.... and i covered my downwards moment by sleeping MOST of the time in my bedroom. poor hazeem had to play by himself and lucky me my maid was very caring of him. yup, aku boleh kira time aku di luar dari bilik tidur.... my bedroom was my salvation room ---sigh...

this time?

aku dah lama tak amik maid.
so aku rasa sangat penat sebab whenever aku down, i had to put a strong face.
whenever aku sakit, i had to swallow the pain.
whenever aku mengantuk or too tired, i had to just lie anywhere i could and shut my eye for just like a minute or 5.
cos harith needs me.
hazeem needs me to teach him and guide him with his revision.

nak tidur masa diorg tidur? i wonder when did i actually get that wonderful opportunity, cos hazeem and harith hardly could sleep when they are together.
malam?
TIDUR for a pregnant lady like me, sometimes mean a luxury, sebab kdg2 bila dapat time tidur, badan pulak rasa tak mau tidur. sakit sana sini.
if makan lambat, mula la gastrik.
ada aku cerita pasal buasir??
better not start with that....

so, semalam aku outburst.
i reached my limit for this first 4 months.
aku tak membebel.
aku tak marah2.
masa mr hubby was driving, i just put my head on his shoulder and cry as much as i could.
i didnt say anything.
i didnt mutter a word.
i just cried.
he just kept his silence, maybe understood that i need to let it go, but not understanding why --- better off that way than him trying to understand lepas tu bergaduh benda lain pulak.

nak jadikan cerita lagi hindustan-ala-mode, it was raining, at night, with the radio playing love musics on lite fm. perghhh...gile hindustan! (hahahhah!!!)

well, that is women, i guess.

we dont need much words, just simple caring touch to indicates you will be there in good or worse --- more than enough.
a bankload of $$ also could do the trick, but since my love is still sincere and pure, a simple hug would do the trick (wink wink....)