my first born child

This week is First Child Appreciation Week: 

Post a photo of your oldest child as your profile picture. Let's show how much we appreciate the first born kids in our families for all they go through and all they do!
Copy this and comment with name and age

my first child was born on 22 dec 2004 at ampang putri hospital and we named him Amir Hazeem.


being a working mother when i got him, Hazeem was practically raised by our Bibik - how do i know?? no doubt about it when he starting saying odd words like 'tolong BIKIN susu'; PESAWAT terbang; or even 'Hazeem nak pegi Indon la, mama...'

frankly, memang nak menitik airmata aku as a mother every time Hazeem lebihkan Bibik dia. and those days, aku kerja sampai malam and bila balik rumah he was already asleep with Bibik, i will carry him back into our bedroom. and sometimes, dia mengigau and would started crying saying he wanted to sleep with Bibik. luluh hati aku... to add salt to my wounded heart, si Bibik cerdik tu pulak would say, 'kenapa ya ajeem mau tido dengan bibik? sayang bibik ya? biar kan bu', saya tido sama dia...' -----dalam hati aku dah terbayang aku mensepuk muka dia. tapi aku sabar sebab dia duk jaga anak aku and if anak aku baik ngan dia, it means dia jaga baik2 la tu. tapi penah skali aku terlepas, 'hazeem ni, mama keluar kerja carik duit utk hazeem tau, nak byr susu hazeem, duit bibik ni lagi!' ----at that time actually aku nak bagi kat bibik tapi tak pasal2 anak aku yg dua tahun lebih kena lak... 


after that, aku proposed to my husband to work from home. i hated my job and it also created a gap between me and my son (at that time, the only son i got). and the gap was getting bigger. my husband agreed.


yes, we were working for money and we forgot that early years of our son were the crucial years to build a strong bond and loving feeling between us. now, i work from home and we have no bibik no more. hazeem gets closer to me everyday.


but being the abang long of the family, hazeem now bears a relatively huge responsibility, which we put on him to take care of his younger brother. it was not fair for him, sebab dia baru nak bermanja2 dgn mama and abah, la ni slalu lak kena marah if ever anything happen to Harith. 


and i could see, everytime dia kena marah for something he didnt do, or didnt mean to do, a thick guilt clouded his face. a question of why did i get scolded? i was just playing with my brother... why people are mad at me? i am only 5 and a half... how would i know when i chase harith he would fall down? how would i know harith doesnt know how to duck when i throw to ball towards him?


kesian... and realising that, skrg aku TRY not to get angry with him.


Amir Hazeem is a creative boy, conscious of what people think of him and always want people to like him. he likes to make new friends but sometimes budak2 yg terlebih nakal akan ambil kesempatan kat dia (aik?? ni macam mak bapak dia je hahahahhah!!!)


Hazeem loves us and he always want us to show that we are proud of him...which sometimes we failed to do. shame on us. 


he is a funny guy who loves music and loves entertaining others. his passion on trucks, and construction machinery are endless ---now he loves army and soldiers! 


he also likes to be hugged and told that we love him. ini pun kengkadang kitorg take for granted sebab terlalu busy and sometimes too tired in our own world.

Hazeem, just remember that mama and abah always love you and we are always proud of you ... even if we failed to show it...