for better and for worse...

when u talk about marriage... nobody really knows what lies ahead
but one thing you sure know is that... you married to someone you love
then, both of you will walk the life road together
naturally, nobody will have a smooth journey
and nobody walks a straight road
there will be bumps, humps...
junctions and corners
there will be ups and downs
sometimes, you will stop at traffic lights, good to catch a breather...
sometimes, you will take the highway for a smoother ride - but you have to pay toll (:D)
if you dont have enuf money, or you are just simply kedekut, you will take the normal road - takde toll but you may face the risk of traffic jam!
sometimes ada yang lagi kedekut... they will take jalan kampung
... no traffic, no toll but ada lembu, ayam and sometimes bikes that simply take their own sweet time on the road...

ok... apa aku merepek ni???

actually, just been thinking, marriage can be anything - depends on how u choose to make it be
you chose your partner (it is not as if a gun was pointed at you during akad nikah)
so, naturally... you will think of ways to make it work

i love my husband
i am sure he loves me too
he never say he loves me as often as before
he never take me out on dates like before
he never look at me with loving eyes as before
but i can live with it
why?
words sometimes cannot explain how great a feeling is
how to go out on dates when we are busy getting love from 2 doting boys as well
how to look at me lovingly when sometimes kat rumah i wont even look at myself hehehhe joking
sometimes, i know he loves me when he bought me air pati haruan for my operation wound
he loves me when he still laughs at my jokes
he loves me when he could stand my temperamental attitudes
he loves me when spare even the last cent for me even when his poket is already empty
he loves me when he thinks of me when he prays
he loves me when he remembers to pour me a drink when he is having tea

that is how i knew... he had loved me before and still does
cuma cara nya berbeza
:-)

tengah gian lak...

tgh gian melayan cerita THE SOPRANOS
ok... mmg cerita ni takde moral2 yg boleh dicontohi tapi i loikkkeee the story
(actually, i like anthing with good, sarcastic lines - that's why i love john lennon)
so, every monday night, at 11pm... gua sure tunggu depan astro channel 411.

cuma skrg dlm pantang, asyik miss sebab sibuk layan baby lak... huhuhu...

walimatul uruuuuuuss...

congratulations to my two close friends...

(on what?)

congrats setelah Encik Gazza berjaya melafazkan akad nikah bertarikh semlm dan akhirnya memeteraikan ikatan sah suami isteri antara
Encik Gazza dan Puan Liza Khalis
(setelah lebih kurang 10 tahun mengharung onak dan duri)

moga2 majlis yg berlangsung semlm, hari ini dan esok akan cantik terakam oleh photographer upahan - incik raja dan puan dell
(cepat2 masuk FB ke blog ke - skit2 dulu pun takpe, kasik intro)

sekali lagi

CONGRATS
SEMOGA BERKAT DUNIA AKHIRAT
HINGGA AKHIR HAYAT
amin...

the birth of Amir Harith Hairuzzamil

it was 5.30 am on 7 january 2009. we were already late for our appointment at the Ampang Puteri Hospital. kissed my little hazeem goodbye, he was still deeply sleeping, of course - it was only about 6am... rushed out of the house and went straight to ... kedai mamak! heheh gotta fill up these empty stomach, eh...

actually, couldnt really chew the food cos panic feelings started to overwhelmed me. my first experience giving birth took me about 10 hours before amir hazeem was borne and later put into incubator for breathing difficulty. hmm, not a smooth experience but look what i have now, a healthy 4 year old with witty lines, cunning and charming smile.

630am, was in the emergency room, waiting to be registered in a double room. took only 15 minutes before we made our way.... rushed for our subuh prayer and into the room waiting for the nurses to do their job.
715am - masuk ubat induce and also ubat berak (hehehhe...)
725am - started to feel the pain (ouch... suddenly it all came back to me, the pain, the waiting and uncertainties...)
about 8.00-something-a.m. the doctor came for the first round check-up. 'ok.... open up, let me see...' uh-huh... ouch! still not open yet...
about 10-something-a.m. felt cramping in my tummy. errrhhh... couldnt feel anymore movements of my baby. betui ka ni??? aduh... sakit sangat ni, macam nak berak pun ada... aduh!

a nurse came to do another VE to me - hmmm... still not open yet, but wait a minute - blood?! kembar darah lagi ke???? ayyoyo... not again!

hubby started to feel restless (sian dia penat, but hey, atleast you were not the one being poked at in your private area!) so hubby asked to leave for a while to have his quick lunch and take few things from home...

about 20minutes after he left, doctor came in again. 'apasal tak bukak2 lagi ni?' - are you asking me?? heheheh... so, there went another VE!
'ok, 3cm. into the labour room!'

hah??? just when my husband left all these are happening???? dugaan....

so, i was wheeled to labour room and contractions beginning to haunt me - alone!

do you want epidural? nope.
do you want gas? errr... nope. eh - nak lah (when suddenly the pain seemed unbearable)

'do not inhale when you are not in pain ya' - who cares! i wanna be prepared when the pain comes. err... is the room spinning...??? did i just hear music??? err... oh, it was the doctor's handphone, cet!

mana lak laki aku ni???

7cm!! 8cm!! i think she's pushing...
you bet i did! tak tahan daaahhh.... arrrghhhhhhhhhhhh.... masyaallah...
it's fully dilated!! tapi baby still high!

'come on ja, ja boleh buat..." eh, bila pulak hubby aku sampai ni?

arrrghhh......!!!!!!!!!!!!!! still lom turun

again - arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! do not throw out your voice, use your energy to push (apa la doctor ni cakap????)

ok, let me help you - vacuum ya... ok push when you are ready...

arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!! tak tahan dah, doktor....
sikit lagi, ja (alahai mat ni.....)

doctor tried to vacuum once then the heartbeat of the baby started to drop.... alamak, operation ke? boleh boleh!!! just get me out of this pain!

sekelip mata i was in the emergency operation room!

sekelip mata i was out! roger and out! - power betul ubat bius tu....

the moment i open my eyes, i felt very weak... 'baby ok x...?'
'dont worry mem... he's a healthy boy and the father has seen him. you just relax while we arrange you to be back in your room.'

mana pulak aku ni... it was bright like too much lighting shining on me (macam nak mati lak heheheh... dont go to the liiiight....! heheheh)
rupa2nya i was in the recovery room. then they wheeled me back to my room.

amir harith was born at 4.49pm via emergency csect, 3.2kg and 54cm tall. why csect? his tali pusat was too short and terbelit pulak around his head, and he was facing upwards instead of downwards. alhamdulillah, luckily the doctor and i didnt push for normal birth...

so, amir hazeem now a big brother to amir harith... sayang betul dia but of course, ada skit2 attitude of 'hey-remember-me-?-i-used-to-be-the-only-one syndrome' :-p but that is normal, adik beradik...

if people ask me, mana lagi sakit beranak normal ke csect? i would opt for normal delivery. pain was BEFORE delivery and no more after that and sakit 'poket' pun kurang... heheh

0 DAY left???!!!

according to my gynea, my due date is 8jan09

since i have not given birth, so i am comfortable to accept 8 jan as my due date :D

tomorrow at 5am, i will be admitted in ampang putri by 6am the nurse will induce me with drugs to errr - induce the baby out. why??
first, baby is mature already at his 40 week.
second, a matured baby will not be getting food from mummy
third, he may end up eating his own feces
fourth, he is already 3kg plus.... my first one was born at 2.8kg only!
fifth, nobody can guarantee anything...

so, friends... pray for me and please please please pray i will overcome this smoothly....
amin....

first day at school

yesterday was the first day at school for first timers and back to school for old ones...

darjah satu, tadika and sewaktu dengannya, sure panic hehhehe

which reminds me of my first day-s

first day in pre-school... terrible
bullied by a bunch of boys... wasnt indirectly but we girls kena bully by a bunch of stupid - overtestosteroned-boys! then, classes was booooring.... A B C then tea time... few of biskut marie and plain tea with sugar. then ada la sometimes we were served with milo. i only survived 2-3 weeks then i was up with hundreds excuses not to go to pre-school
"cikgu tak best"
"air tak sedap"
"budok jate jahat"
"mok (stands for emak in kelantan - but that was what i called my grand ma) ajar lagi best"
... so my grand ma fell for the last one and allow me not to graduate my preschool hehhehe

first day in school... practically a joke - on me!
i wore a pinafore, nicely ironed out and socks up to my knees! cam cute je kan?!
i got 50cents for my school allowance for a day.
i heard a lot (from reliable sources) that other students tend to steal your pocket $ if you are not careful, so being cautious and kedekut about $, i hid my pocket $ somewhere verrrrryyy safe. nobody knew, not even grandma.
lunch time, my uncle came to see how did i survive first day.
"dah makan?"
"er... going to..."
"nak makan gapo?"
"errr... mee goreng la (my fav dish, ok - at that time, mee goreng was packed in small plastic, about 20-30cents each)"
"ok... mano pitih?"
so, i reached out in my pinafore pocket... aik??? kosong?
god??? somebody manage to steal my money? on the very first day??????
how stupid can i be?!
so, uncle was kind enough to spare me the scoldings and bought me the mee and a drinks.
but, i wasnt enjoying my free meal cos i was angry to let somebody outwit me and stole my $$$.

back home, grandma heard of the story and was ready to console me.... which she changed her mind the moment i took off my socks and kechinggggggg.... oh, so there was where i hid my money... in my socks! very smart. too smart it made me felt so stupid hehheheh...

so, being a lazy bum at school, make me wonder, how will my son behave?
i hope he will like his school days, i think his father does :-p