motherhood

the title of a 'Mother' comes with various responsibilities, numerous expectations, countless sacrifices, unexpected undertakings and full of surprises.

i never understood more about motherhood until i was blessed with a child... and i know, there are more to learn.

first, i learnt that pregnancy is different to every individuals. one of my ex-bosses used to look down on pregnant mums who easily get sick. who are unable to be independent... to me, each one of us mum-to-be will have our own share of experience. some will experience very easy pregnancy, some very difficult ones. so, my ex-boss has no right to judge others. (by the way, just found out that she's pregnant for 2nd time and she is very 'sick' - not so tough herself)

anyway, let's move on....

secondly, i learnt that delivering the baby also another chapter in motherhood. i had a tough one, 10 hours in labour room, bearing the labour pain. gosh, even my husband can't stand looking at me trying to go through it.

thirdly, i learnt that newborns are not so cute... hehheheh they are very... small... and fragile... and my son had his experience living in the incubator.. he was already suffocated in the womb. God is Great, he recovered very fast.

fourthly, growing up with my son taught me many lessons about life. how to be more patience... how to shop not for yourself but for him (wonder how he did that)... how to lose your mind worrying whenever he is sick... how to wonder why sometimes he wants to sleep with the nanny and not you...

however, the biggest lesson i learnt is that my son is one of the wonderful things that happen to me. and motherhood makes me want to be a better person...

CLICK!

few days ago i rewatched an adam sandler movie - CLICK

very meaningful... deep message on family values.
when i first started working, i was still single, my priority was my work.
among the first to reach office and was among the last to leave; hardly go back to my hometown in melaka and fortunately my family members were being very understanding (eventhough sometimes my mom did pass few cynical remarks... hehehehh)

when i got engaged, i started to weigh and tried to foresee my future. i couldnt go on working like a dog when i have somebody that would eventually share my part of suffering. what do i mean? really, won't my spouse suffer of boredom whenever i was not home? won't he feel my stress when at times i bring back my work stress to home?

i changed department to a supposed-less-stress job. but no! stress are everywhere as long as there is work! i tried to balance family and work as much as i can, and yet the balancing part is very subjective. but i tried...

well, some people want to be a career person, it is not wrong.

but to me, families are my priority because they will be the one missing me the most when i leave this world one day... as i would miss them...

clogged system

every system that has something flowing in or out and involves some sort of piping - will face clogging problem in any manner.

what the hell am i talking about??? (you may ask)

e.g. drainage will get clogged if no constant cleaning is being done
aircond ducting can also get 'jammed' if it is not properly maintained
your blood system, your aorta, veins will get clogged if you do not take care of your food or your lifestyle

yesterday, my friends and i played badminton after 3 years resting...
and we gave our own body system a 'SHOCK'! Praise God, we managed to get out of the badminton hall 'walking' (eventhough, it may look more like limping...).

we had fun, eventhough after the first 20 minutes we were running for water! and gagging for air...!

and about the clogged system, what do you expect after 3 years of no exercise...

i slept like a log. i woke up with aching back... not sure what happen to my friends... but i hope they survived the consequences... and ready to take another beating next week...

fun - remember the last time you had them?

i am going to be 30 this year, August. for the last few years, most of the time i forgot what it's like to have FUN.

i believe that's the situation for most of us. we forget...
we forget the good feeling that comes with FUN
we forget how to have plain pure fun - without expecting anything in return, or suspecting any hidden agenda from somebody who provides you the fun time

children know how to have fun. they enjoy every second...

so, what's wrong with us adults? is it because we want to be grown up that we limit our fun time?
or because we want to look mature so we choose when to have fun?

or is it because, we went through too many things that make us give-up on fun...

some people still do have fun and their life seems easy...

i used to forget but now i will try to change... cause life with no fun also means life with migraine, nightmares, sleepless nights and the worst part is hemorrhoids (hhehehheheh...)

busy

can we avoid 'busy'?

maybe with a little time management... says some
maybe with a little self management.... says others
maybe you are just born to be busy... says the rest

i am going to be busy these few days

enjoy life!

every child has few innocent faces

i am falling...

it hurts... to fall

bloody pain in the arse...
why do we have to fall? actually i think there are few types of fall

fall with dignity
fall without dignity
fall in love
fall out of love
fall gracefully
and fall uncontrollably.... (this was my situation this morning)

i fell down the stupid staircases - right on the bottom and there i went a few steps down.... bloody painful!

now i feel as if my whole backbones' discs are smashed into one compact disc!

how did it happen? STUPIDITY
well, stupidity does cause somebody to fall - in any way listed above
because you are stupid - you fall for simple deceptions
because you are stupid - you fall in love with the wrong person
because you are plain stupid - you fall down the staircases...
(ermmm, not saying that i am THAT stupid but today i was at that brief seconds)

moral of thestories... avoid stupidity thus you'll avoid falling...

good day!

JOB

i met an old friend last couple of days and he told my husband and i stories of a stressful situation he was cornered into at his office.

which reminds me of why i quit my job!

JOB - it's a mean where almost everybody earn their living (and those rebellious, like me, won't stay long in employment)

And with JOB comes POSITION, PROMOTION, INCREMENT, sometimes DEMOTION AND DECREMENT (hehehheheh)

i remember watching a movie, "The Devils Wear Prada" and there was one part when Nigel mentions, (something like....) "you know you are doing a good job when you are losing grip of your life... and the moment your life goes up in smoke, that's your promotion time!"

can' help but to agree with that statement.

only on rare occasions, you get the benefits of both world - LIFE and JOB - very rare.....

well, i used to like my ex-job... but since i didn't know how to kiss a lot of "bottoms" like a few of my superiors... my ex-job started to sucks! i left and there was not a teeny weeny single bit of regret comes into my mind.

smile

ever wonder why we suddenly smile the moment we thought of something nice?

... watching a scene or movie clips that reminds you of something sweet...?

ever notice how relax you are the moment a smile carved on your face?

and a smile also ease up anyone who receives one, any time of the day... sometimes my smile ended up in a small giggle - sometimes a loud laugh!


whatever it is, it sure does kick away my blues!

the past

must our life be connected to our past?
can we ignore our past?

can our past visit us as and when they like? i wish i can choose which pasts i want to visit me...

yesterday, my sis-in-law found a framed cross-stitch given as a 'friendship' token to my husband from his former 'crush', whom also had feelings for him, which he had crush for when he was in college, which at that time he was dating me!

i knew it those days... but i dont want the memories to visit me again...

so, what did i do?

i gave the frame to my 2 year old boy and taught him how to throw 'rubbish' in the proper rubbish bin... ehmmm...
i felt quite good but still can't help thinking of one of my painful pasts...

so, can we choose? from what i see, we can - but we can't also help but to remember little slots of whatever that hurt us...

offline

life? what is life?

i think its about what happens to you everyday..
... whether you chose for it to happen or you let things happen??... it's still your LIFE.

does LIFE interrelated to others' LIFE?

well... previous one year i've resigned from my job to find something more meaning to add to my life. i decided (one of my decisions) to get more 'intimate' with my laptop and the internet...

last two weeks i got disconnected from my so-called 2nd life (the internet)! life was ... sort of empty.... (or wasn't it?)