another SHITTY chapter in my life - the most SHITTY

one chapter in my life is closing, i am putting it to an end... even tho it is far from end but bcos it is SO DAMN SHITTY, i am putting a stop to it!

this is the scenario:

i lend something to a close friend, very close... to the whole family.
so, when it was due for them to return my stuff, they didnt... i wasnt sure why, maybe they didnt have it, or not ready to return it... but they didnt.

being quite a laid-back person i was, i would have just let them hold it for a while, wait... i DID let gave them time... about 4-5 months time for them to return the stuff to me! but sad to say, they didnt, opps... they did return a 'ciput' part of the thing to me. fine... my husband was saying,' what is this? are they playing us? are they taking us as idiots who they can say -ok, ok, well give it next week- but nothing happen?'

well, it was hard for me to answer that cos i was feeling idiot myself... deep down inside i still want to believe that my friend are not taking advantage of me (on the contrary tho)

week after week, month after month... my smses were not replied, my calls were not answered and my emails were not returned... only once in a blue moon she would replied saying they needed more time.

i need the thing badly, if not, situation would be different. so it was call for desperate measures. desperate for a commitment from this so called FRIEND of mine.

i went partly public. i asked questions on her blog... which i found impropriate but i got her attention. but it was not long until they played us again with their 'silence' treatment. okaaaayy.. what else can i do? so i went to family, a close family cos i still need to jaga airmuka makcik tu.

BOOM!! i hit it big! they were fucking damn angry! suddenly i got smses!!! sms saying that they will return my stuff part by part on monthly basis BUT if i once again tell public or a family about it, i will not see my stuff again...

AIKKKK!!! sapa pinjam barang sapa ni??!! fucking damn shit...!!!
u ungrateful bastard (sorry for my french)!!
from that point of time, i said to myself, i will not halal even a single cent from what they get from my stuff. whether they pay or not, i dont give a shit!

who the hell they think they were???

i quickly think of Allah, and hope for His guidance... i just hope Allah will give me strength and bukakan hati mereka-mereka yg tak sedar diri tu.

but... Allah knows how it hurts me as a friend who wanted to trust this so called friend but...

from this point of time, they are no longer my friends... i believe, they also ditching us as their friends. so... i dont want to know anything about them... buat sakit hati je. better not... not worth it.

as for the stuff they borrowed, if diorang sedar diri, sedar dosa pahala, and if ada rezeki aku, i will get it back. till then, aku berserah...