rainy days

night before aidil adha.... was blinking effortlessly on the comforter, next to my son... still couldnt shut these eyes to sleep...
my husband was having tea (or was it nescafe) with his family, late supper, as they normally do. ouch... suddenly i heard my stomach rumbling - lapa la pulak! hopefully hubby was sensitive enough to remember me and offer me something to drink or nibble...
5 minutes... 10 minutes... 30 minutes later... takdak apa2 pun... ceh!

mata oh mata, kenapa tak mau tido?
macam mana aku nak tido - badan sakit2
badan oh badan, kenapa sakit2?
macam mana aku tak sakit - baby tak mau diam
baby oh baby, kenapa tak mau diam?
macam mana aku nak diam - perut lapa sangat
perut oh perut, kenapa tak mau makan?
macam mana aku nak makan, bukan makanan aku
bukan makanan akuuuuu...

after singing, hopefully i could shut these eyes
err... nope! still blinking
tik tok tik tok - what was that? raining? at 3am something....?
thank god it will be a cool night
zzzz........

what??? dah subuh??
dragged myself to the bathroom - solat....
going to continue sleeping... cepat2 abis doa....
alamak... my brother in law woke up for his prayer pulak
(i was sleeping outside with my son and hubby, ok)
errr... how to sleep?
tik tok tik tok.... what? still raining?
no wonder i could still feel the chillness in my bones
nice time for slumberrrrrr
hmmm... the sofa looked nice - dush! my heavy body fell on it...
sakit badan lak... forget about continue sleeping
breakfast ready, since i was hungry since last night, why not i just eat

the rain continued for the day.... drizzling but non-stop
i like the feelings... feelings of english weather
gloomy but relaxing...

it was not a raya i expected, but Allah gave His barakah in terms of rain and coolness....

alhamdulillah....

raya korban? berkorban? terkorban?

more or less it will be about a month to my delivery date!

takut pun ada.... cuak pun ada.... tak sabar pun ada...

penat pun ada sebab been carrying this baby in my tummy for like 8 months plus... penat....
sakit? macam-macam penyakit ada - sama macam my friend, arin... macam2 sakit ada
-sakit belakang: jalan terkangkang2 terkedek2, sungguh la tak cun
-sakit gigi: dah patah lak gigi ku, gigi geraham and the worst thing patah separuh je tu, pergh.... sengal and berdenyut2
-sakit kepala: tido susah sangat, mengiring salah, terlentang salah, terbalik lagi la salah hehehhe...
-badan panas: kipas macam helikopter pun badan still berpeluh, siap peluh jantan kuar gaks! panas je memanjang, rimas rasa macam melekit je
-badan berbau: ye lah, if dah berpeluh je, mula la aku rasa badan berbau peluh, abis dibeli macam2 sabun, yg traditional, yg omputih, yg melembutkan yang menyental - huh, janji bau wangi la...
-badan berat: nak bergerak susah, sakit pinggang, sakit kaki... letih gak sebab sometimes nak je berjalan ke mana2 tapi baru halfway dah sakit sana sini. sakit woooo...

macam2 lagi. there was a book i read from islamic view, setiap detik orang mengandung ni - tiada sedetik pun ibu mengandung tidak terasa sakit fizikal. penat fizikal tidak harus ditambah dengan penat emosi, sebab itu digalakkan para suami supaya memberi sokongan penuh pada isteri mengandung. dikhuatiri ibu mengandung akan serik untuk mengandung dan takut mengapa-apakan kandungan... ish takut lak bunyi nya. (seriously, if ada peluang, memang aku nak kasik laki aku rasa gak penatnya heheheh. leh ke pass perut jap?)

tapi, ibu2 lak tak leh mengambil kesempatan lak, as a wife, org kata utk senang beranak, kena patuh pada suami...

sesungguhnya tuhan itu maha adil.....

ini nak balik raya - fuhhh....fuh....fuhhh.... hopefully takde apa2. memang la raya korban, tapi harap2 tiada yg menjadi korban hahaahaha

so, semua muslim friends - SELAMAT HARI RAYA KORBAN!!!!!!

some songs bring back certain feelings....

heard this song on the radio - was overwhelm by certain feelings i cant describe... but those feelings remind me of what i am... where i am now and where i am going... what i was looking for.

remind me of what to hang on
what to believe
what to hope...

hope you enjoy it too....

HERE I GO AGAIN whitesnake
I dont know where Im going
But, I sure know where Ive been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
And Ive made up my mind,I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho I keep searching for an answer,I never seem to find what Im looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
Im just another heart in need of rescue,Waiting on loves sweet charity
And Im gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go...
And Ive made up my mind,
I aint wasting no more time
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
And here I go again on my own
Goin down the only road Ive ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And Ive made up my mind
I aint wasting no more time...
But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again...